Tuesday, 12 May 2009

Today has been fortuitous

Today I had planned to do a job (yes the one I put off) in Evesham and then head straight over to Gloucester to do the other job I had put off (an aside here - I know the people in Gloucester have found this blog and your concern for my well being is very much appreciated), any how.

Headed out of the flat (via the toilet window - again - I've got bruises up my legs from that) and decided I should check my mail. I don't get mail delivered to the flat because it's in a weird location and so I have to pick it up from the local Post Office. There I found that I can vote in the Euro Election - hmmmm and a letter from Worcester Community Alcohol Team (CAT). Great I thought - when do they want to see me, oh 3.30pm today (the letter was dated 7 days ago - guess I should check my mail drop more often).

So off to Evesham - as it happens the job over ran so I would never made it to Gloucester in time anyway - to meet a very interesting man and learn about his wife who was giving evidence at The House of Commons - I won't say anymore than that but it was on a subject close to my heart and I think I may have made an interesting contact, politically speaking.

Back to Worcester and off to CAT. Met with my counsellor who is a very lovely lady, and like my new found Doctor, made me feel as though she really did give a damn.

We chatted for an hour - she asked some very interesting questions that really made me think before I answered and after an hour I honestly think that she will be a great help.

Some of the time was spent with her asking me about my life from school days to present - she interjected from time to time and to be honest we spent a lot of the time having a great giggle and swapping anecdotes. She seemed genuinely interested in the idea of me writing a blog, and as I explained to her I think maybe there could be a side site to help other people like me. She is just another part in the list of people that I will feel to have let down if I don't follow this through. The list goes like this

1) Me - If I mess up then it is down to me and me alone
2) Family - The support from them is incredibly important, it sometimes takes something like this to make you realise that even though you are 150 miles away (or in some cases half way across the globe - luv U nik x), you still love them and hell do they love you.
3) Friends - I received many private messages - some harsh but loving and supportive but all welcome - and I know I am under the watchful eye.
4) Internet Friends - some old - some new - some scathing - some supportive - but I have opened an eye into my life and I will be honest with you in the good and the bad
5) Random visitors here - I do really hope that by keeping this blog I may help even one person to be honest with them self and say I think I need help then drop me line - via comments (mark it as not for publication) or however else you need to contact me - I have some other ideas that I will outline once I've got them sorted in my head for a new website and written the code.
6) My Counsellor - I should say that this list is not in any order of importance - but I am very aware that letting down a paid professional is a waste of resources that could be better used.

I will not let any of you down, I now have over 1000 visitors to this site (thanks Tim) - some will come back on a regular basis, some will never visit again. I have family members who are checking it for every new update (and of course calling me and in time visiting my flat once I finish the clean up). And I have a commitment to every single one of you to do this, and as I said last post, it is a weight on my mind far more powerful than relying on my own conscience to do the right thing. It's like having a small swarm of Jimminy Crickets constantly chirruping in my ear and that is a good thing, and I really do thank all of you for that.

Back to the session, drinkers of Stella - you are more likely to crave Stella then next day than any other 5% (or 4%) beer - drink something else (Source - anecdotal clinical evidence)
Drinkers of Special Brew (and I knew this already) - SB once contained Valerian and some point that was removed (an EU edict I think) and replaced with a chemical equivalent that was more addictive than Valerian - that is why the only way to get through a SB hangover is to drink more SB.

At the end of the session it became obvious that I don't need a higher power - I do need empirical evidence - so last week came to 25 units (even with the blip) and when I get the blood test result through I'll have another baseline to work against. I like numbers - more objective than subjective.

Aims for the next 7 days - further reduction in units and try to string my dry days together (2 at a time for now) but working up. I've signed up for 6 sessions - this could be weekly (next one is) but it is a movable target as me and MC (my counsellor - I feel it would be wrong to use her name) agree on the periods between meetings.

For the record - today 1 pint of Veltins Shandy (yes really) and a can of Tyskie (5%) whilst writing this. Tomorrow will be dry.

Oh and came back to the flat and entered via the door - which was nice ;-) - landlord has me on a week notice for full flat inspection - time to get crushing those cans...

Oh yeah it's video time - I'm guessing that a large number of people could answer yes to 4 of these questions. I also think that it is total bullsh*t - but enjoy it anyway (tho if you need a drink to start the day then get some help - I never did so nerrrrr!)


  1. Hi Poons,
    It sounds like it's going fairly smoothly so far, which is good. You sound really positive, especially considering the state of things you described in your first post.

    Could I ask you to get a bit more personal?

    In a previous post, you said you left a router at home for a job and so went to the pub. What was you thoughts or reasons for going to the pub?
    Or today, you had two beers. Did you want more, how difficult was it (or not) to resist having more?
    You say tomorrow will be dry and you're going to try to string your dry days together, but what is making you decide that tomorrow is going to be dry? What sort of things would stop it being dry and make you want drink?

  2. Having a shandy is a fine compromise Poons.

  3. Found you through Bloggerheads feed on Twitter.Good luck with your journey. I'm doing the same with my life right now, so I know just how you're feeling. Keep focused and constantly tell yourself how much better life will be when you're sober. Thinking of you mate...

  4. dave,

    your blog is beautifully written, it has a lucid feel that moves me in a way only a few writers ever have and it belies an inteligence that has to find more purpose and reach looking outwards

    I agree with you entirely, imperical evidence, counting those units, is such a simple effective tool, only you can do the counting too!

    Get squashing mate, i can't wait to come round for another night in front of the fire and a game of cards (and yes, i will expect some tea!)