Hi my name is poons and I am an alcoholic.
I also suffer from depression and have suicidal tendencies.
I tried to end it all on Monday 20th April 2009 and so I will document the consequences of that action.
The main objective of this blog is to allow my friends and family to keep up with where I am at, and maybe on the way inspire other people who find themselves in a similar situation so that they also make steps to address the issues of alcohol dependency and depression which I have found go arm in arm.
I will endeavour to post daily updates about my progress and details of the help I am receiving with pointers to hopefully help others who wish to get their own life back on track.
For nigh on 15 years I have drunk at least 4 cans of strong lager every night - 7 days a week - plus visits to the pub - plus vodka binges and the occasional 3 bottles of wine nights. This has lead to financial problems, bailed out by very loving parents, loss of friends and a flat that is quite frankly disgusting to the point of being to embarrassed to let my best friends in. (Think 1 year of never recycling and dead take aways - I may post pictures)
At the age of 38 I realise that I am no longer a spoilt teenager. I am a grown man, capable of good work with computers and also capable of starting to love himself again. I also realise that I am loved by my family and my friends - and I will take up your offers of help - no matter who much I will squirm.
There is something about being woken by 2 police officers who have just broken into your home at 3am in the morning that brings that home. If I hadn't posted details of my actions on Facebook then who knows whether I would be here to post this, and so to my niece I say thank you, and one day I'll come and visit - if you'll have me!
I have been advised by my GP to start to cut down my intake of alcohol, and have been prescribed Citalopram to take the edge off the depression. If I'm not dry in 2 weeks then the NHS Alcohol Team will apply medication over 10 days leaving me dry within that time scale. I hope to do it without the medication.
At that point it is my choice. Never drink again, or think I can and get myself back to where I was on Monday - a no brainer I hope. I am addicted to alcohol, I know that and so will do my very best not to drink it again at that point.
A few technical points - comments will be moderated and anonymous comments will not be allowed. The day to day blogging will mostly be units consumed and effect of the medicine to start with.
Finally - I am using my established blogger name because it makes it easier for me to blog. I know many of you know my name, hence this will not be an anonymous blog - but I ask that you keep to my nickname for now.
Thanks for reading this far, and wish me luck.